


Higher than High

by MarsFlameSniper



Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Makoto has self esteem issues, and a big crush on Ann
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 08:43:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11482776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarsFlameSniper/pseuds/MarsFlameSniper
Summary: Ann takes everything she knows and subverts it. Over and over again.





	Higher than High

**Author's Note:**

> These were all supposed to be about 300 words each, but they kept getting longer the more I went on. Oh well. Assume that anything from a week up to a month happens in-between each piece, the additions of Futaba and Haru give them a loose timeline.

1. 

“Broadening your horizons?” Ann chuckles, taking a sip from her FruiTea.

Makoto nods from across the diner table, blowing bubbles into her own drink, embarrassed.

“So what,” she asks “does that mean you're like, getting in touch with your wild side? Are you gonna start cutting class and smoking now?”

Makoto colours, “N-no! Nothing like that! It just means that I'm trying new things, things I've been curious about, like where people go to hang out after school.”

“Ooohh, yeah that makes more sense.”

Shaking her head at Ann's conjecture, Makoto carefully sets her drink down and watches her from across the table. Ann had been surprised but pleased when Makoto had suggested a drink at the diner after school. So far, Ann had been the one to encourage their occasional outings, but she didn't want the other girl to think she wasn't willing to put the effort in to their new friendship.

“Akira's been really great actually,” she continues, “but I was wondering...if it wouldn't be too much trouble...do you have any suggestions too? For things I could try, I mean.”

Grinning, Ann slams her now empty glass onto the table.

“Only about a hundred!” She fishes in her pockets as she speaks, throwing a few hundred yen onto the table before reaching across and grabbing Makoto's arm.

“I thought you'd never ask. Akira may be great and all, but I know way more places to have fun in Tokyo. Come on!”

Barely having enough time to put her half full glass back down before Ann hauls her away, chattering in excitement, Makoto stumbles along after her onto Shibuya's crowded streets.

She wonders exactly what she's gotten herself into. Ann's hand on her arm is warm.

 

* * *

 

2.

To say the least, Makoto is hesitant about the box in front of her.

“What am I supposed to _do_ exactly?”

Ann looks at her, smiling. This had been her idea, of course.

“Whatever you feel like! You can be cute, or silly- the point is to have fun.” She tugs on Makoto's wrist gently, “I'll be in there with you, so just copy me if you can't think of anything.”

Cute...silly...Makoto isn't sure she has it in her to be either of those things. People would be more likely to describe her as rigid. It's that thought that nearly makes her dig her heels in and beg off, but at the same time...

This is exactly the kind of thing that high school girls- girls her age- did with their friends right? This will be a complete first for her and a pang of _wanting_ jolts through her so hard that she pushes away her worries and lets herself be led into the photo booth by a pleased Ann.

 

Later that night, she lies in her bed, heart still feeling as though it was going double-time from excitement. The inside of the booth had been just as bright and gaudy as the outside, and the rapid flashes from the camera had caused more than a few dud pictures as she had blinked against the brightness.

But Ann had found some passable photos, and had even let Makoto choose borders and stickers for them too. A crisp row of six pictures is held in her hands now, and Makoto is unable to tear her eyes away. Granted, she looked like a total fish out of water in most of them...but she'd had fun. Much more fun than she'd expected. She replayed the afternoon over and over in her mind as her eyes find one picture in particular.

Ann had insisted on a sexy pose for their last shot, which the younger girl had snapped into almost flawlessly. Makoto had hesitated until Ann had yanked her over so they were cheek to cheek. A surprised blush was dusted over her face but she was smiling nonetheless, and the photo had been taken at the exact moment when Ann's eyes glanced over to her.

Makoto feels that same smile break out once again as she looks at their picture.

 

* * *

 

3.

Makoto would be the first to admit that watching episodes of a children's superhero show was quite a silly way to spend one's time. But really, now that she was getting into it...

“This is awesome!’ she cries, fists clenching as the Featherman 5 team pose amidst explosions of coloured smoke. “Are they going to form the Feather Cannon again?!”

From next to her, Ann chuckles, reclining back onto the couch in Makoto's front room. She hardly cares about what’s happening on the screen. When she'd found out Makoto had never really watched kids shows, she'd been determined to show her a few. She definitely hadn't expected the animated responses that Phoenix Ranger Featherman R was producing now.

It was...cute. In its own way.

“You really like action stuff don't you? Akira told me you like Yakuza films too?”

Makoto nods sheepishly. She supposes that seeing her get so animated over something like this must be strange for the other girl, though she’s kind enough to indulge her. There’s just something about the action genre that has always lit a fire in her blood, even Sentai shows like this carry that certain something she loves. A mixture of danger and determination that's almost like a head rush.

“It's nice,” Ann's voice cuts through her introspection, “seeing this side of you. It makes you seem more like a person.”

She glances left in time to see Ann's face scrunch up.

“I mean, not that you're not a person! Just that you always seemed like you had such a stick up your butt-“

She can't help it, a sharp bark of laughter cuts through the fumbled explanation, and Ann cringes.

“Is this a compliment or a critique?” she smiles, and Ann makes a shovelling motion with her hands.

“Thank you though,” she continues, “I know how I've come off in the past, and I'm glad that I'm able to be more myself around you and the others. And that you don't think the way I am is weird.”

Ann smirks, and before Makoto knows it, the other girl has scooted closer, her head resting against her shoulder as though it was a completely natural thing to do.

“Maybe it's a _little_ weird Makoto, but we don't mind.”

She wants to joke back, but the feeling of Ann so close has her dealing with a head rush of a completely different kind than the ones she’s used to. One she can’t say she dislikes.

 

* * *

 

4.

 Sleepovers could be quite fun, Makoto decides from where she lies on Futaba's floor.

The sleepover was really more for Futaba's benefit, a way for their newest friend to get to know them and spend time with people her own age. It had been a girls-only thing, something Ryuji had complained about until Ann had brought up the small size of Futaba's bedroom. And that having the entire team in her space for the whole night might freak Futaba out.

Makoto hadn't known what to expect, honestly. She'd read about girls sleepovers in books, and they usually seemed to involve makeup in some capacity, which she wore but Futaba seemed indifferent to, and ghost stories, which she was firmly against.

Instead though, once she wound down from having new people in her room, Futaba dragged out a gaming console and a few games to play. Ann was surprisingly good at the fighting games, and Futaba was practically an expert, so they had a few good matches. Makoto was less good, but she had fun watching the other two nonetheless. Cheering silently in her head whenever Ann won a round. Sojiro had even made some curry for them to share, and watching the way he doted on Futaba was enough to make Makoto smile.

The evening had carried on pleasantly, with Futaba opening up little by little, and by the time futons had been rolled out for Ann and Makoto, she'd seemed pleased to have had them over.

“Did you have a good time?”

Makoto jumps, snapping out of her thoughts; Ann's blinking sleepily at her from her own futon by the desk.

“I did, thank you,” she whispers back, “I think Futaba enjoyed herself too.”

“Mm,” Ann mumbles, clearly about to drop off, “we should do this again. At your place too.”

That would be nice, she thinks. Her apartment sometimes feels oppressive in its silence, with Sae away most of the time. The thought of her friends visiting her home, talking and laughing, the thought of not waking up alone in the quiet...

“I'd like that.”

A soft snore answers and Makoto's toes curl into her blankets as she watches Ann breathing lightly. Her face is so peaceful when she rests, a far cry from her usual animated expressions in her waking hours. She stares; entranced by the way Ann's features soften. Like this, she's not quite a panther, but more like a contented house cat, and suddenly all Makoto wants to do is brush her thumbs along the skin of Ann's nose, her cheeks, her lips-

No.

Not her thumbs.

She nearly bolts upright, the realisation that she'd much prefer to kiss that eiderdown skin instead sends shocks straight to her core.

From above Futaba snuffles in her sleep, and Makoto lies there, eyes still fixed on Ann. Thinking.

 

* * *

 

5.

“Okay so, teams of three? Guys versus girls?”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Makoto mumbles an ‘okay' to match the more enthusiastic agreements from her friends. Any other time she probably would have shared their excitement, she couldn't remember ever having been bowling before (much less inside a Round 1 centre) so there was a lot to take in. But right now...she has a lot to think about. And being put on a team with the object of her thoughts was hardly going to help.

“So!” Ann says, tapping a few commands into their electronic scoreboard as the boys head for the adjacent lane. “Thoughts on a team name?”

“I don't know, call us Team Sea Slug or something,” Futaba grouses, clearly upset about not being on a team with Akira. Makoto shrugs helplessly, nothing coming to mind, at which Ann winces but clearly having nothing better herself, types ‘Sea Slug' into the console.

“Okay so I'll go first, then you Makoto and Futaba last.”

Nodding, Makoto sits and tries to think. The bright lights and other customers would usually be a distraction, but anything right now is better than focusing on the way Ann's arm muscles tighten as she grips her ball, the graceful way she steps up to the lane, the slight dip in her back as she swings that Makoto would really love to run her palms over-

“Damnit damnit damnit!” she mutters to herself, shaking her head roughly. She's been hitting the same roadblock all week when it comes to Ann. Every time she tries to think rationally about her feelings, all she can focus on is just how beautiful she finds the other girl. How much she'd really like to kiss her.

“Your turn!”

Jumping up, she rigidly passes Ann, not daring to look the other girl in the eyes. Selecting a ball without much thought.

“God, focus,” she breathes out, thinking about the pins in front of her. How she should swing the ball. She lines up her eyesight and rears her arm back to throw.

“You can do it Makoto!”

The ball flies from her loose fingers in a sorry arc, colliding solidly with the lane flooring before shooting straight into the gutter. Makoto breathes firmly through her nose before fixing a smile to her face, turning to see Ann's embarrassed expression.

“Ahh, did I distract you? Sorrrrry!”

Makoto says nothing, her smile shaky as she takes Futaba’s place next to Ann. Almost instantly her leg starts to bounce. Ann looks at her oddly but says nothing. Futaba practically pushes the ball into three pins and when Ann gets up again for her turn, Makoto takes another deep breath.

This is like a nightmare. A big, stupid, crush-having nightmare. She glances over at the boys, who are doing well. Akira bowls rather fluidly, and just watching him frustrates her. He was generally nice, charming really. And often avoided making an idiot of himself, all the things Ann would likely find appealing. And here she sits, feeling like she can barely go five minutes without being exposed as being inept. And awkward. And un-fun. And really, what kind of highschooler had never been _bowling?_ It was a wonder Ann even bothered with her. Just for once, Makoto wishes she could have fun normally instead of being such a dull friend. And suddenly she's angry. Not frustrated, but furious at herself.  At the way she was. Useless. Nothing at all like the others, just useless.

“Yo.” Futaba pokes her, and it takes everything she has not to snap at the younger girl, who points wordlessly at the empty lane.

She rises, face dark, and unclenches shaking fists to pick up a ball. She doesn't know what she wants rid of more, her useless thoughts or her useless feelings, so she settles instead for imagining that each of the pins represents some part of herself she wishes she were rid of, and lets the anger pour down her arm, stopping short of screaming as she hurls the ball down the lane.

She doesn't even stay to watch the results, whirling on her heel and marching back past the others, needing to be away from this. Futaba's eyes are wide as she passes, and Ann is already up, clearly noticing the shift in her mood. Still Makoto walks on, eyes beginning to water from the sheer anger she feels.

Ann reaches out, worried, but all Makoto has in her is to growl-

“Don't.”

-and she pulls back, watching as she leaves.

 

* * *

 

6.

Plunging her fingers into the soft soil beneath her, Makoto breathes in deeply, letting the feeling of the dirt crumbling around her skin and the soft breeze of the evening calm her mind.

She's needed a lot of calming lately.

She and Ann had hung out a few more times over the past month, but each time Makoto felt awkward, barely able to even look at her, let alone sort out the knot of feelings in her heart each time they did.

Haru joining the team had been something of a godsend. She was quiet, though not reserved and had picked up on Makoto's inner struggles quite quickly, inviting her to spend time on the roof if she needed someone to work through her thoughts with.

Makoto had explained bits and pieces, enough for Haru to get a good idea of her new friend's feelings towards Ann. She often said that Makoto was too hard on herself, which she knew. But breaking habits was hard, especially when her sister’s frustration often lingered in the air between them when she was home.

“You seem a little tense today.” Haru says from where she knelt across the flowerbed, “did something happen?”

“Not really,” she replies, “Ann asked if I wanted to hang out after school. I said no. I don't know how I feel about it.”

She turns over more soil with her palms this time, reaching idly for the small watering can next to her.

“I wish I'd said yes.”

“Because you like her?” Haru asks. To which Makoto nods.

“She makes me feel really happy...and I like how she smiles when we do new things together, but I feel stupid thinking about it. Like I'm making this mean more to me than it does to her. She's just showing her socially-inept friend how to have fun and I'm spoiling it all.”

“You don't know that. She might like you back.”

Makoto scoffs at the thought, but before she can refute the point, the door to the roof opens and Ann comes stumbling through.

“Hey Haru I- oh.”

There's a moment of silence that would feel almost comical to Makoto, if Ann's eyes sharpening into a glare at the sight of her knelt down, wrist deep in soil wasn't so scary.

“I thought you said you just wanted to go straight back home today.” Ann says.

Makoto flounders. It hadn't been a lie per se, she had wanted to go home. But realising that would leave her alone with her thoughts had brought her feet to the roof instead.

“Uh...”

“You know what? Save it,” Ann shouts, walking away, “just tell me you don't want to spend time with me next time. Jerk.”

Makoto rises with the last word, a cold ache filling her at Ann's harshness and she hurries after her, but the younger girl is surprisingly fast, vanishing from the hallway below the roof before Makoto even makes it down.

She stands in the vacant stairwell, hands still caked in soil, wondering why life is always such a mess.

 

* * *

 

7.

_Can we talk?_

_Sure. What about?_

_Not over IM, could you meet me somewhere?_

_OK._

Her phone is juggled nervously through her hands for a moment before being slid back into her pockets, and not for the first time, Makoto considers cutting her losses and just running. She knows Ann would be pissed though. Beyond pissed, especially since she'd been the one to ask her out here.

Being in Ann's bad books was...not pleasant. She'd been cold since what had happened on the roof. Not unfriendly, just distant. Invitations to hang out had all but stopped and after a few weeks of this, Makoto was in agony.

Which was why she was now stood in Inokashira Park, trembling from either nerves or the cold (it really could be either, since she's forgotten to bring a jacket, being so frazzled after Ann had agreed to meet), waiting for Ann to show up.

She's not waiting long, the other girl appears after a few more minutes. She looks coolly at Makoto, asking what she wants, and Makoto is struck by just how stunning the other girl can be. There's an air of danger behind her eyes that's oddly seductive, she can feel her pulse quicken just thinking about it.

“I...wanted to say sorry.”

“That's it?” Ann blinks, “you ask me to come out here to apologise to me again?”

“No. I mean yes! I mean...ugh...look I've never done this before okay? I don't know what I'm supposed to say.”

“Never apologised before? Uh, yeah you have, right after you joined The-“

Makoto's fist snaps back into the wooden fence behind her, “never confessed to someone before!”

That makes them both pause, the scattering rush of the leaves in the trees the only sound until Makoto gulps and pushes on.

“You...you're beautiful, and you make my chest ache in such a nice way, and every time you laugh I keep trying to think of more ways to make it happen again because you light up so much when you're happy. And when I figured out that I wanted to see you laugh every day, I also kind of figured out that I want to kiss you every day too. And also hug you because I keep wondering if you're as soft as you look.”

Ann opens her mouth to reply, the anger has faded from her stare but Makoto can't stop.

“But when I figured all that out I got upset. Because I don't know anything about all of this, or about what people my age like, and I worried that I was just some dull girl you took pity on and I took things way too far.”

“Well you got that wrong,” Ann shoots back, and now it’s her turn to stare as Ann begins to speak, “because I like you even if you are a big dork.”

“Getting to know what you were like under that dumb ‘Student Council Prez’ persona wasn't just some pity thing, I really enjoyed all the time we spent together. You're like a kid when you do something new, and I kept trying to think of more and more to show you, because I love the way your eyes light up and how quickly you talk when you find something you like.”

“And then during the bowling you got so angry...I thought it was something I'd done. You barely wanted to do anything together after that, so when I saw you with Haru...I figured I was boring you or something and you just didn't want to tell me.”

“No,” Makoto says, “I just didn't know how to deal with feeling like this. I thought you'd think I was dumb. Or something.”

“You kind of are Makoto,” Ann replies, but there's no malice in it. In fact, Makoto can see the forming of a smile as she steps closer, “like, so much. I mean, where's your jacket for one thing?”

“Forgot one.” She mumbles in response, and is startled when Ann shucks off her own, unzips her hoodie and places it over Makoto's shaking frame.

“Better?”

Her arms don't move from Makoto's shoulders, and all she can do is nod.

“You're definitely a dork,” Ann continues, “but I want you to be my dork. Do you know what I mean?”

Another nod, Makoto wonders if she's passed out from the cold and now she's dreaming. If so, it's the best dream she's ever-

“Good.”

And Ann's lips meet hers. It's definitely not a dream. She leans closer, a small moan of happiness escaping her throat as that soft skin touches her own.

It's an experience she's not going to forget.


End file.
